The importance of self-talk

That Girl Healthy Habit #1: Self-Talk Matters.

Welcome back to That Girl Healthy Habits! First of all I just wanna say, thanks so much for checking back in with me. Starting this blog is definitely something out of my comfort zone and let's be honest, the topic of being 'that girl' is a bit cringe but I hope that I can inspire some girls to grow their confidence and realise that life should be as fun as possible.

For my first tip, I wanted it to be something that I think is the one of the best habits that anyone should have. Whether you're trying to be 'that girl' or not, the importance of self-talk applies to everyone. We all have our own inner dialogue, the thoughts in our head that no-one else can hear. This inner voice is constantly talking to us and commenting on what's going on in our lives, whether we realise it or not. More times than not, the voice in our head is overly critical and this actually has a really big impact on our opinion of ourselves. This negative self-talk builds up and ultimately affects our confidence and how we approach day-to-day life and it has a massive impact on decision-making. If we're constantly facing negative thoughts, we end up more likely to be facing emotions of anxiety and depression, facing self-doubt and self-confidence issues and becoming much more unmotivated. This makes it extremely difficult to overcome challenges life throws at us and causes us to make decisions we definitely wouldn't make if we had a better mindset.

I'm sure by this point you're wondering if I'm ever going to tell you how we can bring about more positive self-talk since I won't shut up about how important it is. But I'm not going to lie, it is definitely not easy to suddenly start talking better to ourselves and it is definitely not an overnight change. Like any habit, you have to keep doing it and doing it until it becomes a natural thing. 

The first bit of advice I have is to catch yourself the second you start thinking negatively about a situation. Our first reaction to when something goes wrong is generally something along the lines of "Why does everything go wrong for me?"or "Everything is always my fault. Even when we know this isn't necessarily true, humans generally cling to the negative aspects of events that happen to us. Instead of going down this rabbit hole, try explore the more positive side of a situation. For example, ask yourself something like "What can I learn from this situation? What is the main message here?". I always try and tell myself too that things are happening for me, and that they are not happening to me. I have always been that everything happens to us for a reason, and its all part of a bigger plan. I've always found comfort in this idea and it's definitely something you could think about too.

Secondly, think of yourself as one of your friends. When one of the girls is feeling down and needing some TLC, the last thing you're gonna say to them is "you don't deserve anything good to happen to you anyways, you're worthless". Bit of a harsh thing to say don't you think? Yeah, it is! So why should we speak to ourselves in that way? We can't build up our confidence if we're doing everything we can to sabotage it, and this starts with the things we say to ourselves with this inner voice. 

Lastly, affirmations are absolutely crucial in shifting this negative self-talk. And to make things even better, they are so easy to include into your daily life. Affirmations are basically positive statements that are used to shift and overcome negative thoughts. They are short, simple phrases that should be repeated daily and over time, they'll just become your natural thoughts and will be rooted in your subconscious mind (the part of our brain that rememberers information, and affects our actions without us even realising it but we'll talk about this in a later blog post). Affirmations can literally be about anything, and that's what makes them fun as well! They can be about general confidence, career goals, relationship goals, mental health goals, even the silly but important goals! I'll list some examples here for you: 

• "I am loved"
• "I am confident"
• "I am successful"
• "It's ok to make mistakes, they do not define me"
• "I am not my negative thoughts" 
• "I am worthy of a loving relationship"

Do you get the idea? Getting into the swing of affirmations can feel a bit weird at first, almost robotic. I find they work best when you put them into your own dialogue and tailor the phrases to what is most natural for you. I find the easiest way to go about incorporating them is to write them out first thing every morning and in the evening before you go to bed. You can do this in a notebook or even in your notes on your phone. If you have a spare 5 minutes during the day you can even sit and tell yourself them over and over again, either aloud or in your head. Just find what works best for you!

If I haven't already made it clear, self-talk absolutely matters! I hope you found some of my tips helpful and try and give them a go yourself. Like I said before, it is definitely not an overnight change but the long-term benefits are so worth it if you stick at it! See you all soon.

Lots of love,

Faye xo